To celebrate my birthday last night my boyfriend and I did a night hike out a trail along the lake and back. When your birthday is on a random Tuesday and you work a job you love and teach two yoga classes you enjoy teaching, it doesn't leave much room for celebrating and reflecting. I felt off. I needed to get into nature, do something out of the ordinary to feel less like a robot and more like a living breathing person with emotions, dreams, goals and desires. I thought the hike would help. It did a bit, but when you are off, well, you are just plain off. I'm not sure if it's the blues, getting older, or what. I honestly don't know what it is, maybe it's simply a feeling that something is off kilter, I get it from time to time and I'd bet most people do too. I'm not telling you this to hear comforting words, I think it's good to feel like this sometimes. It's a part of life. I don't need my life to be a cake walk (how boring). I like this feeling of rawness that comes for a visit from time to time. It's like a little storm that blows in and you must feel the wind on your face, the rain falling down, maybe a little thunder or lightening for drama. Then the sun comes out and everything is greener because of the rain.
You must have the rain for the flowers, you must have the storm for trees to take deeper roots. It's like that in life too. If you don't have darkness how can you appreciate light?
For those reasons it was fun to walk in the dark last night, it seemed fitting. Hiking over dry leaves, stumbling here or there, stopping to listen to the loud silence of the woods and notice how still the lake looked as the moon light spilled over it. The unsaid words between my partner and I. The steady sound of crunching leaves, and the sound of our breath, the flash lights spilling eerie shadows over trees and stumps.
We capped off the evening with a trip to Green Valley Grill, I uncharacteristically ordered a cheese burger and characteristically paired it with an earthy Red Rhone.
Life is interesting.