Airport Excitement ...err anxiety... and other thoughts

Standing at the American Airlines Kiosk waiting for my baggage tag to print the bald man behind the desk looks at me kindly "Nice? ... Alone?".   I smile broadly "Yes".  "Work or vacation?" he asks.  "Purely for the fun of it" I assure him. 

As I make my way to the security line I wonder if checking that bag was really necessary and if it will cause me any problems later.  It was small enough to carry on, but traveling alone with my back not feeling feeling great I opted to check it.  In the airport anxiety nips at my heels.  A swirl of questions fill my head, "was there anything in that bag you checked that you think you'll need on the flight?  Oh well too late now.  Do you have your passport?" I look into my purse  "Oh yes you've checked like nine hundred times now.  What is the flight time?  Where are you going in nice?"  The 

Now it's time for the loose ends that haven't been accounted for.  Wrapping up the Yoga studio's September newsletter, I assure myself it's "ok" if I make an error, errors have never stopped me before (if you've ever read Greensboro Downtown Yoga's Newsletters you know this too).  I slide into a seat at The Carolina Ale House for a late lunch, pre-trip bubbly and space to work.  

Work done, France doesn't feel real yet.  I haven't wrapped my head around the fact that I'm in an airport bound for the beach in another country.  Maybe it's because I worked until noon and rushed to the airport to finish up last minute studio details.  Life recently hasn't felt great, work is difficult, the studio doesn't get the time I want to give it, studio details fall through the cracks, relationships suffering.  All of that I'm carrying with me at the moment. I'm hoping to dump it somewhere over the ocean on the leap across the pond, but you know the saying "where ever you go, there you are".  Yeah, I'm aware a trip away won't fix that, but I'm comforted by the fact that I can do this mindfully.  

I've gifted myself a rather expensive and selfish trip which includes space, time and rest.  I'm at peace with the selfish aspect of it, but if I was traveling with a companion would I still consider it selfish?  Probably not, so what does that say.  I'm not sure, but I'm going to ponder it on this flight that is about to board.  xoxoxo