When you quit the security of your day job to pursue your passion it's liberating, wonderful, fun, confusing and scary. I'm loving life, having loads of fun traveling, building a business and finding a new rhythm for my life. I'm also a little lost; I suppose that's part of the process. I’m learning that even when we get what we want it's confusing and difficult. I'm choosing to see the confusion and the scary as fun, but be sure transition is hard. What’s comforting is that I'm doing what I love and there are no complaints about that. The last month has brought a tremendous amount of growth and self-awareness.
I'm feeling comfortable calling myself an entrepreneur now (even though I've been what you might consider an entrepreneur for a long time) I’m finally owning the title. When I had something I didn't like (that job I hated), it gave me something to push from. You know how when you're little and you go swimming and you start at the wall and you put your feet on the sidewall of the pool it makes it really easy to push out into the middle of the pool? The wall gives you something to help propel yourself forward. The job I hated gave me a wall to push from, but now I'm in the middle of the pool without a wall and I'm feeling a little like I want some floaties to get to the other side. Remember those little things you fill with air and wear on your arms when you’re a little kid to help keep you afloat in the water? I would love some floaties. The part that's encouraging is I'm positive I already have the floaties inside myself. The trick now is to figure out what the floaties are and how I want to use them while I tread water.
I'll warn you, entrepreneurship is not for those that can't find the joy in the plethora of feelings (good and bad) that come from the process. I still have the sense I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I have a moment every day where I'll be walking downtown to a meeting, or making a pot of coffee or writing a blog post or planning a goal for the month and a feeling of complete happiness will wash over me. A feeling that even in fear, in deep loneliness (there's a fair amount of that these days too), in ambiguity and transition I'm happy and fully alive like I’ve never been before; I’m not holding anything back.
It’s a huge secret that happiness and sadness often exist together, two sides of the same coin. Right now I'm having lot of these moments of feeling fully present, fully alive, overcome with happiness despite feelings of fear, loneliness and sadness. There's power in naming your dreams and working towards them despite the negatives. I'm going to stand in this power and enjoy the ride that comes from building a new life and a new business.
P.S. Pen Pal Question: What are you working toward that's scary? What have you done that brought you happiness and sadness at the same time?