If I'm honest with myself I've had some huge life changes in the past two and a half months. I'm doing my best to process them in the healthiest way's possible journaling, art therapy, yoga, and meditation. Even when you are doing the healthy things you still have to process what's happening and it can be tough.
Processing the end of a relationship, buying a house, juggling the studio, my full-time job at Lincoln, and working on the artist's way. These are really huge things. Many of them are positive, but it's a lot. I don't necessarily think I'm overwhelmed, but I know I must be with the Sunday blues and Monday funk I'm feeling. I'm self-aware enough to know where it's coming from, and I know with time everything will work it's self out the way it's supposed to, but I'm feeling down. Even though there is a ton of good happening, it's natural and ok to feel this way.
In an attempt to be true to the healing process this morning instead of rushing out the door for work trying to get to Lincoln at 7am like I normally do, I stopped. I brewed a pot of french press coffee (truly the best kind of coffee). I sat out on the back porch while a morning thunder-storm came through and I wrote my morning pages. I didn't rush to get them done, I didn't just throw up on the pages today, I was intentional about what I was putting on paper, I was looking very closely at the blues I had last night and the funk I'm feeling this morning. It made me realize just how much I'm in the thick of it.
This is what I can tell you for meaningful monday.
I know from past experience it's not healthy to ignore feelings, it's not healthy to try to rush past them. You must work from a place of truth and be present for what comes up. If you are going through something hard (and really who isn't? Life always has a ton of challenges) take the time to stop and listen to what is going on in your body and your mind. You might surprise yourself on what you find. I've been insanely surprised with the feelings that have been coming up in my morning pages. If you can today, make your self a pot of coffee, have a cup of tea, or if it's later in the day a little glass of wine, pull out your note-book and write out what you are feeling. Say hello to your self on the pages. You might be surprised what comes out.
Love from me to you, -lish