Frozen in place and time, I’ve felt blocked for weeks. Morning pages, blogging and multiple unsuccessful attempts to begin writing a memoir on “The year of the travel” are all casualties of this writer’s block infecting my psyche. Like a fast moving virus I feel writers block threatening to take over all creative aspects of my life. The more I aspire to do the harder it is to squeeze out anything of importance or note. This is the longest writer’s block has ever stayed with me.
In the distance I hear a siren roar through the city. Sitting in the Renwick, a boutique hotel on 40th and park in NYC I’m feeling the deep clutches of writers block. I sit in front of my computer pounding away at the keyboard feeling like everything that comes out is unimportant crap. In this very building once artists’ studios supposedly Steinbeck and Fitzgerald lived and worked here. I can’t help but wonder what writer’s block felt like for them? I’m certain they felt it at points too.
I begin to talk to myself like I would my clients. “Alisha, keep showing up. Keep writing morning pages, stick to routine, keeping writing even if it’s shitty and doesn’t sound good because if you keep showing up eventually inspiration will hit and you’ll need to be in the chair when it does. All artists and creators feel this way at some point you just don’t always get to hear them talk about it. You get to hear them talk about the book they finished or the project they’re working on, but you don’t always get to hear them speak when they feel hopeless, and directionless. Alisha, remember they’ve been here too, they kept on writing, they kept showing up. They kept taking little baby step after baby step until they got to where they wanted to go and Alisha that’s what you have to do now too.” Right. That’s what I’m doing even though it doesn’t feel good.
There is a voice in my head saying “don’t you dare share this post! It’s pathetic and who wants to hear you complain about writers block?” But I’m ignoring that voice because I have a feeling that if you’re reading this blog you might find it helpful to see that sometimes creative get blocked, some times creatives talk to themselves and sometimes all you can do is keep working, put your head down, snap a bad picture, write a lousy blog post or make a really awful piece of art. Because even if you’re making art that you think is bad at least you’re creating and eventually those steps will lead you where you need to be. I take heart in knowing that if I’m doing the work eventually I’ll get it right.
My hope in sharing my block in the creative process is this ….
If you’re having a block too maybe this post will help encourage you to keep at it. Stay the course eventually the muse will return and you’ll be ready when it does.