Want to know what's breaking my heart and making me really angry? Watching you play small and compromise yourself away at a job that's not really the right fit, you not pushing your idea harder and standing up for what you want. Every day you tell yourself little lies and if that wasn't bad enough you cover them up by calling them compromises. You're sweeping your dreams, wishes, and desires under the rug and every time you do it another part of you is lost. It's as if you're strangling yourself slowly by blotting out what your heart is asking for one request at a time.
Why? Don't you know that what you water grows, what you neglect will wither. It's that simple. Every time you tell yourself "I'll travel when I retire, I'll write that novel when the kids have grown, I'll paint when I take vacations" you're telling yourself what you love, what you're passionate about is less important than anything and everything else. Why? because if you fail at something you don't love you can chalk it up to it not being your passion, " my heart wasn't really in that pivot table anyway". Didn't land that big client? "Oh well at least my novel idea didn't get rejected by a publisher". That dream job you decided not to apply to, yeah you can't be disappointed you didn't even get a call if you didn't try. If you don't try you can't get burned.
If you don't actually work for what you want you're only wishing. A boyfriend once said "You can shit in one had and wish in another and see which one get's filled faster." crude I know, but it certainly get's the point across, so much that it's stuck with me for almost 15 years. Wishing doesn't make dreams come true. Only you can do that and to do that you must actually put yourself out there on the line. I'm asking you to do something that's super scary. I get it, pursing your dream and desires can cause anxiety and stress, I won't sugar coat reality.
Think about it this way, what if Picasso had said "I can't paint because it's not a practical profession". Shakespeare said "writing doesn't put food on the table"? What if Phillip Glass thought that programing would have been a more "secure" career choice? Wow, the world would have really missed out. The point is that those greats didn't lie to themselves or make compromises. No they worked their craft, and they went for it! All out, balls to the wall, went for it. They didn't play small, they worked hard with what they were authentically good at. You've heard the question "What are you the best in the world at"? We know that the more time you spend do something the better you become. If you have a love and an aptitude for your dream, why not try? What could you spend hours doing and not even know a minute's past?
I'm not saying you need to quit your job and write a novel tomorrow, I'm asking you to look seriously at your choices and ask yourself if you're lying. Actions speak louder than words. Could you set aside 20 minutes at the end of every day to practice the guitar, write a few pages in your book, work on your business plan, paint? Don't put it on hold, all you have is now.
Seeing you compromise makes me angry because this world, our country, cities and communities would be so much stronger, innovative, and fresh if you stopped playing safe. If people stopped playing safe the old empty car dealer ship by my yoga studio would have been developed into an awesome space with a boutique butcher shop, a super healthy juice store, there'd be a 3D print shop, an art gallery, and lots of stuff I can't even think of because it's so authentic and neat. Get it?
What's your vision?